Do you find yourself celebrating your personal and professional victories alone? Are your family and friends nowhere to be found when you need them the most? Do you find yourself questioning if your circle of friends are truly your friend? Have you come to the realization that none of your friends support anything that you do? If you said yes to any of the questions above, this message is for you.
Not to brag – I have the best most supportive friends in the world. Seriously! Whether relaxed or natural, my friends support Natural Power of HER. My friends are always the first to purchase tickets to our events even my home girl Troyana who has relaxed hair and no desire to return to the curl (which is perfectly fine with me). When Samantha and I decided to expand our business to include apparel, my friends near and far were on it buying their Curls Slay and Curls & Wine shirts to show their support. In fact, my home girl Ashley all the way from Cali was the first to place an order online and purchased 2 shirts. These are a few examples of the overwhelming love and support that I consistently receive from my friends. I share all of this with you as my receipts for being able to tell you how to attract supportive friends.
Before explaining what you should do to attract supportive friends, let’s talk about what a supportive friend looks like. A supportive friend is someone whose words and actions show they care about you, want to see you win (i.e. actualize your goals and dreams), and have a genuine interest in helping you along the way. You may be asking, what does this look like? Well, there are different types of supportive friends.
- You may have some supportive friends that are financial supporters. “Financial supporters” are quick to put their money behind anything that you do to show how much they value and are invested in what you’re doing.
- Then, there are supportive friends that are great networkers and willing to connect you to people that can be of assistance to you. Under the role of “connector supporter,” this person shows their support by being aware of your needs and connecting you to resources, services, experts and/or professionals to meet those needs.
- Then, there are the supportive friends that are your free advertisers and promoters. The “promoting supporter” is always talking about what you’re doing to others, passing out your flyers, and sharing your content on social media. This kind of supportive friend is very proud of you and what you’re doing; and they want everyone they know to know what you’re doing as well.
- Then, there’s the “encouraging supporter”. This person always has the right words to say to encourage you to continue on your journey of actualizing your dreams. This is the person that will keep you covered in prayer; talk to you for hours upon hours when you feel like giving up; and send you thoughtful gifts or encouraging text messages to remind you, you can do it!
- Last but not least, there’s the “helper supporter” who is always willing to lend a helping hand and spend quality time with you even if it means doing something that’s helping you build your business. This is the person that’s also quick to volunteer their time to be your assistant, secretary or whatever is needed to let you know that they believe in you and want to help reduce your stress and work load.
On your journey of attracting supportive friends, you will find some friends that embody more than one of the supportive roles described above. That’s a blessing! Now, I will share with you 3 steps to attracting supportive friends.
Be who you want to Attract
Yes, the law of attraction does apply in this situation. I attract supportive friends because I am a supportive friend. The first step to attracting a supportive friend is knowing who you are, which will take some honest self-reflection. Are you supportive? Are you kind? Are you generous? Are you loyal? Are you trustworthy? Are you encouraging? Are you understanding? All of these traits are important for attracting supportive friends. Just like you want someone to be there for you, the other person wants you to be there for him/her. To do: Take some time to write down a list of friends and beside each person’s name write a list of what that person brings to the friendship and a list of what you bring to the friendship. Then, compare and contrast the two lists to gain insight into why each relationship is/isn’t fruitful. Be sure to be honest with yourself about each relationship and make the adjustments needed to be the friend you want to attract.
If you need more help with self reflecting. Check out 3 Powerful tips to help You Self Reflect Better here
Communicate and Connect
You may think this is a given, but as we get older and our responsibilities increase the more likely we are to begin to decrease how often we communicate and connect with our friends. There must be a healthy spouse/children vs. friends/social life balance. If you want your friends to be supportive of your goals and dreams you must take the time to communicate and connect with him/her whether it be via phone calls once per week; going out for dinner once/twice per month; sending encouraging/thoughtful text messages several times per week; etc. To do: Make it a priority to have a balanced family/work/social life that consists of you communicating and connecting with your peers weekly. Your friends can’t support you if you’re not communicating with them and maintaining that intimacy/friendship connection.
If you’re someone that has difficulty accepting criticism which can lead to trouble communicating learn how to take on criticism gracefully here
Nobody wants to support a Negative Nancy or Debbie Downer. Your overall mood and perception play a key role in attracting supportive friends. People are willing to support others that are uplifting, encouraging, motivating, inspiring, and optimistic. I’m not saying be unrealistic. We all have our days where we’re not as positive as we could be or as friendly as we could be, but these kinds of days should be far and few between compared to the days that you exude positive vibes. People are more willing to want to be around you and support you when you’re excited about life, enjoying life, and spreading positivity. To do: Stop the whinnying. Stop the complaining. Stop the negative thought patterns. Be intentional with doing things that genuinely make you happy. Your happiness/peace/joy will shine through and others will be attracted to you. Supporters will be attracted to you because they want the peace and joy that you have and/or they already have peace and joy and want to support someone that’s like-minded.
All of the steps above can be summed up into “Be who you want to attract.” If you want a loyal, encouraging, understanding, supportive, trustworthy, honest, kind, and generous friend; then be that for your friends. Be intentional about communicating and connecting with them no matter the distance. And check your mood. Positive people attract positive people.
If you need to start looking at your circumstances in a more powerful light try looking at How To Start Living Fearlessly or 3 steps to start transforming your life (Law of Attraction)
Have anything you would like to add about attracting supportive people? Please share below.