Have you ever wanted to talk to your crush, but worried what they would say? Or what about wanting to go for the job but worried if they said no? Or how about you have an idea you want to share but what if everyone else doesn’t like it?
These are some of the examples of fear of rejection. Fear of Rejection can stem from not wanting to feel the hurt or pain that can come with being rejected. In some cases it can go back to when you were younger and made to feel that speaking out was a “no-no” or you were ridiculed one time from sharing your opinion. Fear of rejection can lead you not wanting to be yourself or say what you want. Don’t you want to live a life that you’re free to say what you please within reason of course. You matter and what you say MATTERS.
Additionally, Fear of rejection can lead into you basing your feelings off of others, and getting taken for granted. If others know that you need constant approval that can possible use that to use you for their own benefit. It’s about knowing your own personal worth and realizing what you say matters just as much as the next person. If it comes down in being fearful of rejection from a job sometimes it’s all about perspective. If you done all you can do to prepare for the job, it’s about being confident within yourself and going for it. The worse they can say is “no” or in this case not get in contact with you. It’s okay sometimes no is made out to be this detrimental word but really it’s saying this one (job, relationship) wasn’t meant for you. I know in the moment that can be hurtful but it’s having some time to think about it and striving for the next opportunity. In a lot of cases one it comes to a job or a relationship with knowing your self worth and thinking positive.
3 tips on How to Overcome
Envision a Successful Ending
Overall, it starts with knowing what do you want? Once you know it envision a successful ending or outcome. This helps with improving your confidence about the situation. Our thoughts whether negative or positive effect how we perceive and act out in situations. Do you want to improve your self-confidence? Imagine you going up to the person saying what you have to say or nailing that interview. It’s about having that envision so you can replace your fear with confidence. Do you want to improve your social skill? Sometimes negative thoughts can start racing and get clouded up in our heads where we have to sit down and think what is it that you want in life? When you’re able to narrow down what you want and your goals, you’re more likely to envision and start the changing process.
Increase self esteem
I know people probably hear this so much but self-esteem and knowing your self-worth makes a huge difference. Putting your self-worth into other people hands gives others too much power over you. If someone doesn’t like your idea or doesn’t like the way your hair is who cares? It doesn’t matter what they think about you it’s about you loving who you are and what you look like. I’m not trying to make this sound easy because it’s not an easy process. It takes time and getting to know yourself more for you to start building your self-esteem. Try starting small like accepting compliments from others or saying a compliment or two about yourself each day. How about taking yourself to the movies or out to dinner. You know the cliche saying, “If you don’t like being around you who will?” Eventually taking these small steps will get you more comfortable in sharing your opinion because you won’t place so much emphasis on other people’s comments, criticisms or praises.
Feel the Emotion
Lastly, Sometimes our main fear of rejection stems from not wanting to feel the pain or hurt behind it. There will be times that you will hear “no” but running away from that pain or hurt feeling is what sometimes what makes us sabotage relationships or self-esteem. If something hurts you or is painful, I want you to know you are allowed to feel those emotions and it’s OK. You simply allow yourself to go through the emotional process and get through it. Once you give yourself time to feel the emotion you get through it easier versus avoiding it.
This is the first fear from the fearless series. I want these series to initiate the fearlessness in you. I want you to know that you matter and don’t let anything hold you back. See you next week for the next Fearless series.